Today Skyler went off into the big world of Kindergarten. I'm sure this is way more tramatic for me than it is for him. Only later when he is grown will he realize this is the moment his life changed from my innocent little baby boy, to a big boy with his own life. I feel like I did after graduating college.... like what's next. What do I do now? When Archer was born I slowing began the process of shedding my old self. Now I was a Mom. Not a professional or someone who was an expert in her field. Just a Mom. I hate it when people say "You're not JUST a Mom". But I am, and that's okay. What's my occupation: Mom. I learned to love almost every second of it.
I didn't cry today, not full out. Just a little teary eyed under my sunglasses. I remembered the day I realized I was pregnant with him. It was a surprise. It was just before Christmas and I was feeling grouchy and irritated. And friend said, maybe your pregnant. And I thought immediately "I can't be pregnant... oh my God I AM pregnant!".
I remember the moment my contractions started and the night he was born. How he was colicy and then croupy, and born a redhead. He was wirey and stubborn from the day he was born. He was going to sleep when he was damn well ready! Not much has changed, except the red hair changed to bright blonde, and he learned to love being cuddled and hugged. He has turned into Dad's boy and a Sauer through and through.
I remember my first day at Kindergarten. I wore a green coat, road the bus and was a Green Bird. We moved out to the country that year. I threwup a lot in Kindergarten, usually during snack time, and one of the ladies from Allen Pharmacy would pick me up and take me to spend the rest of the day behind the counter with Daddy. Apparently Fred disliked Kindergarten so much, they took him out altogether and kept him home. I wonder if Skyler will remember this day too.
In the morning after Archer's dropoff, a 1st Grader was crying, screaming and throwing a fit "I want to go home! I want my Mom! I don't want to be here!" The teacher was saying "I hear your words" as the boy kicked and threw a first rate fit. We walked on by and it broke my heart. Skyler said "That is not going to be me". And it wasnt.
So I realized that starting Kindergarten is more about me, then it is about him. To him its just another school, he just goes more often. But for me, today was a life changer. Unlike Skyler, Im just sure what the change is yet.
aww... this is a sweet piece. I'm anxious to hear what he though of it. and to hear how Archer's first day goes.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, and keep the posts coming as you can... I really enjoy them!
Amber this needs to be saved and given to the boys after they have gotten their kids through College. Then they can really appreciate what all parents go through that love thier children. Really a sweet look at moming..
ReplyDeleteHi Amber
ReplyDeleteHere you are, my daughter-in -law, talking about her son going to kindergarten. How quick life goes . Reading your blog I see myself in Calgary, 3024 Underhill Drive. Freddy's first day to kindergarten ( he never was in preschool). I was so upset I could not take him to school. His Dad did and I cried all morning. Freddy did not like it in kindergarten. When I peaked through the window he would sit by himself with 'rood beertje'. After a while I took him out of school and I think he only went 6 months to kindergarten before starting grade 1.He liked it than. I was a mothershelper in his classroom and his Dad prepared sharing time with him. I remember the two of them giving a slide show about stars. His Dad would handle the slides and Freddy would tell the kids about the stars and moon. We even had a home movie from the first landing on the moon (filmed from our own black and white tv in 1969) I could go on and on. Your baby now my oldest than. I know exactly how you feel. Love Rita
Hey Amber
ReplyDeleteGood looking haircut Archer. Rita always says I should let the boys have their hair the away they want it but they always look better to me with a neat haircut.
We realized that summer was over when we woke up Sunday AM it was 51 degrees. ;We turned the heater on in the RVand it sure felt good.We just came back from a full week at the river and this my second day back to work so my life is in transition also. I like my work but I can feel myself disconecting from it. We think we may take February off and go to south Texas with some of our RV friends and see how we like that.
I think you have done a fine job of bringing the boys this far but"it aint over yet ". You remember I told you you never graduate from Dad's school.
Tell Skyler to watch the mail for his brirthday present. It should be there Thursday.
Keep the pictures coming.